Unwell

Here is the lyrics of the song Unwell by Matchbox20:

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be 

This is what best describes my feelings now, unwell...I was almost hit by a bus while heading for home. I haven't slept the whole night until this morning. I don't understand what I'm feeling now and why I am feeling this. I feel cheated by my boyfriend for so many reasons. I don't consider him as my "one great love", but why do i feel so much hurt for what he did to me?! I feel that he's flirting with another girl (just had a bad dream one night, and now that dream is becoming a reality, I found out something) and he doesn't admit that and won't admit that ever, that's the first reason. Second, he has converted to Muslim without me knowing (he should have informed me before doing so). He has only told me that accidentally, we were having a fight that it has slipped out of his mouth. We've talked about that religion thing before he left for Saudi to work there, and he knows very well that I hate the thought of us getting converted to that religion. He said to me that that's the easy way for him to bring me there, but as I have said, we have already talked about that matter beforehand and have agreed not to get converted, and he promised not to. I told him that I will break up with him the moment he got converted. But still he got converted and broke his promise. So what's the sense  of his saying that he only wants to bring me there when he knows very well that I will break up with him? That's also the reason that strengthens my  gut feeling of his having another girl. The hours we spent online to have a good chat was only consumed by nagging, exchanging of bad words, and hurting each other. I was sad, really sad. I didn't want that to happen. We had a misunderstanding the last time we chat, so I thought that our chat last night will end us making up to each other, but I was wrong. It did make things worst for us. I have found out of so many things this day that he has no plans of letting me know. If not for my being pakialamera (meddlesome) and matanong (asking too many whys to him) I will still  be left clueless..  There are still many whys  left in my mind, but the big why in my head is that WHY AM I SO HURT? The pain, it's crumpling me.. WHY?